enjoy life and change part 2b)

well here is part 2b) of the enjoy life and change blog......enjoy

As I began to personally question who I was and what I was about, it hit me..........I was doing lots of great things with no real understanding or thought as to why I did them or the purpose for doing it. Rose could you do this? I would say..... “oh...OK” Rose could you do that.? I would answer back with... “Oh...Ok....sure”. was it that I was afraid to say NO. Did my fear of not speaking up as a child or teenager affect my ability to speak up for myself now? Why did I end up saying yes to everything and then resent it later? It is because I was not sure about my own identity or more importantly what I was created to do and be.

So you have heard all of my extended summary of my own journey in identifying or not identifying purpose. I know you the reader may be wondering....so how does one find and figure out YOUR OWN PURPOSE? I will give some pointers, but when you get a moment, go on the web and type in John Stanko. This person is the Guru of finding ones purpose. He says that the first thing we need to do is write a purpose statement. We can only do that when we can answer the following questions. From the answers we get, it will become our guiding post. For example you could say : “my purpose is to work with children under 5 and help them to communicate effectively”. Our purpose may also be “to make people laugh and bring joy to people’s lives”. Sometimes we think we need to have a long, eloquent and detailed statement. NO not at all.

My general purpose statement is:

“Through excellence and creative insight, I empower so as to bring about change and order.".

Now that I have written this statement, I was met with another hurdle....in which capacity would I accomplish this purpose? As a teacher a singer and performer, a trainer and facilitator, a leader? I strongly believe that God allows is to use the gifts we already have to establish what he has called us to do. There are no rules or boundaries as to where we can thrive or operate to fulfil what we are called to do and be. As a starting point ask yourselves these questions and answer them as fully as you can.

1. What situations seek you out that I don’t go looking for?

2. Is there a problem that always finds its way to you to be solved?

3. Is there a certain type of person to which you find yourself drawn to and with whom I enjoy effective work or ministry?

4. What kinds of jobs or ministries have given you the most joy?

5. What do you love doing and would not mind waking up to everyday?

6. What would you do for free?

7. What compliments have people given you which you don’t think are very special or even spiritual?

8. What are you really skilled and good at?

9. What do you do that brings so much joy that you don’t realise the time has gone?

For many of us we are doing or have done courses and exams at university, school and college that we disliked and have regretted. We have taken A’ levels, Masters’ degrees, Diplomas and jobs that we had no interest in, but took the advice of a parent or teacher that it would be the best thing to do. Whatever we choose to do in life, the reality is, time is ticking and every decision we make that seems to be the wrong one, costs us time and sometimes heartache. My advice is listen to your heart and do what makes you smile and have fun(this may not suite your family or fit into their ideal for you). There is enough tragedy in this world and we don’t need to also live through the tragedy of doing the wrong thing in our own lives.

When you read the stories of business and entertainment moguls such as Bill Gates, Richard Branson and Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey and many more, the one defining and common denominator has been, they have all followed their hearts. They originally started out being part of the norm (whatever that was), doing the norm and lived up to the expectations of their family and friends. They were trying to do and be what THEY(people out there) wanted them to be and do. What did these moguls do that was different? They dreamed and took the risk in following what they were interested in. They took the risk in following their heart s and dreams. This does not mean they did not have struggles, on the contrary. They operated outside the norm and ordinary. They have become what is known as ‘Outliers’. An outlier is: ‘something or someone that is situated away from or classed differently from a main or related body.’ An amazing book to read which highlights this is: ‘Outliers, The story of success’ by Malcolm Gladwell. To conclude this piece on purpose, I wanted to refer to key highlights from the speech by Steve Jobs in 2005 whilst addressing students at Stanford University in Connecticut. Steve Jobs (now deceased) was CEO and founder of the Apple Mac computer. He said:

“Find what you love. To be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. The only way to do great work is to LOVE what you do. Keep looking and don’t settle. If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today? If the answer is no, too many days in a row, you need to change something. Our time is limited and you will not waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma (which is living with the results of other people’s thinking). Don’t let the noise of other peoples’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they(intuition and courage) somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

God wants us to be happy and live a fulfilled life and walk in our purpose. He even says it in the bible. Take a look at :

Ecclesiastes 3: 12-14

¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink and find satisfaction in their toil(labour) – this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever, nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Ephesians 5: 15-17

¹⁵ Live Purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise(sensible, intelligent people). ¹⁶ Making the very most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understand and firmly grasp what the will of the Lord is.

From this point, I don’t know what you the reader will do about defining, finding or even redefining your own purpose. I do pray that you will take the time to consider the next step of your life and those of the next generation.

enjoy life and change part 2

I posted a blog a while ago called enjoy life and change part. 1. I want to add a part 2. This post is about identifying purpose and pursuing the things which matter. When we know our purpose and know why we are on this earth, we will experience change and as a result enjoy life.....read on of you are interested in finding out about purpose.......

“For a long time I would ask the all important multi-billion pound question..........what is my purpose? Why am I on this earth? Why was I born? Strangely enough I have been asking and agonising about this question for the longest time ever.....5 years, 10 years, 15 years maybe. I thought one day, “why am I thinking about this and why does it seem to be a problem or concern to me now.” In the bible it says ‘where there is no vision the people perish or cast off restraint’ (Proverbs 29 verse 18). So what is purpose? my personal definition is ‘the ability to know the reason for something, a life or an object, the meaning of a thing or person.’ This is my definition. According to the Oxford dictionary purpose means: The object toward which one strives or for which something exists;

Purpose Nugget: ‘sometimes we can dismiss the little things we do in life and not even know that we were born to do that thing. To the parents who have young children and teenagers, take note of the things they do well and encourage them to do more if it. observe their habits and allow them to explore various hobbies and interests...........move them from the phones, computers, Xboxes, Wii’s, Face book, Twitters, Texting and TV and talk to them from an early age about their love and interests. I desire to see a generation of children and young people who know their purpose in life and affect change and make a difference much earlier than we(adults) did.’

You see, I knew from an early age (around 9) that I was interested in travel, singing and music, meeting people from around the world, visiting exotic and beautiful countries, going on Airplanes and becoming an ‘Air-hostess’ now known as ‘Cabin Crew’. I looked at magazines of ladies in their red Virgin Atlantic uniform and wanted to do THAT JOB and be and look LIKE THEM . They looked glamorous and I was obsessed with travel magazines, nice spa locations and exotic islands, travel programmes on TV, the air hostess’ uniforms, the hair, the suitcase and just looking like the lady in the red jacket! I remember one day saying to my mom with sheer excitement and joy - “Oh mom I know what I want to do when I get older...I want to be an air hostess”. With a serious look on my mom’ face, she Immediately said “you can’t do that job. How will you find a church to go to, if you’re always going to be on a plane? You need to be able to go to church”. There was no negotiation, no discussion about the options and without any question or conversation, that matter was squashed. Nothing else said about it!

Purpose Nugget: ‘take the time to listen to your children and people around you when they speak about the things they love to do. Do not dismiss an idea or thought, it could be a multi-million $ or £ idea. Discuss the ideas and look at ways this can be pursued or researched’

Whilst growing up I belonged to a strict Christian family and became a Christian at 11. I have been a Christian ever since. Not once have a turned away or walked away from my faith. I have had my challenges and have been through some really difficult times in my life....but in all of this I held my faith in GOD. As a teenager I did not do any extra-curricular activities such as: netball, swimming or hockey. The only thing I could do after school was sing in my Gospel Choir only because my older sister was the choir leader. Stopping over at friends...or sleep overs’ was not permitted. SLEEP OVERS? Are you crazy! Not heard of in my household. All I did was go to church and come home and go to school. I was an obedient, respectful and gentle child and teenager. I listened and did what was asked of me. I did not answer back to any one or argue (only in my mind though). I now look back and wish I had slammed the door, or argued with my parents, or was even cheeky like a normal teenager may have been. I was afraid to express how I felt and became afraid to speak up about issues, especially with my mom. Instead I kept my emotions to myself. In the end, I did what THEY wanted me to do and became who THEY wanted me to become. Who are THEY? The people out there...anywhere! it is anyone external to YOU.

Looking back at my experiences(some too deep and detailed to share at this time), I see that I became a person and individual that was not ME the TRUE ME. I took on the beliefs and identities of others and grew into what was expected by my family, my church and somewhat my peers. I never quite fitted into the norm, the fashion, the ideas around me. I always saw things a different way. I saw the funny side of things. I was funny and loved to laugh (now I know this, but back then I didn’t). Instead of trying to walk in my own identity, I began to compare myself to everyone else. I matched myself against THEM. If I did not match their thoughts or ideas, then I always tried to FIT in, so I would not be the odd one out. I began to talk like THEM, act like THEM, speak like THEM and put myself down and elevated THEM, because after all, THEY knew best!!! How many of us still feel inadequate, belittled, intimidated, unsure about ourselves because we do not FIT into THEIR boxes, whoever....THEY are.

The most strangest thing is, over time, I later found out that some of the people I was trying to be like, wanted to be like me and live a life like mine. I was chasing after someone else’s identity when all along, THEY were looking at me and wanted to be like ME. I spent and wasted so much time trying to be like THEM, that somewhere in the process I lost ME, and did not realise that being ME was really great. I was unique, funny, sober minded, strong, a person you could rely on, approachable, a thinker, beautiful and pretty and so on.........but could not see it because I wanted to be like THEM.

Purpose Nugget: ‘When we get a revelation of WHO WE ARE, the personality struggles and conflicts within will cease. We will stop striving to fit in and be like everyone else and we begin to find our own lane and drive that lane. Knowing who we are is the bedrock and foundation in the process of identifying and accomplishing OUR purpose’

well that's it for now, so look out for part b of this blog.

PART 1

Well friends.....you may wonder how I came about with this title....I am passionate about enjoying life! why do i say that? well for many years i didn't. Although I have had many highlights in my life i did not feel that i was really enjoying an excellent quality of life . I soon realized that only YOU or ME can do something about the present circumstances. for years I have asked myself the question, 'why am i here...in England...in the city i live....in the house i live in........at the church i attend.............in the job i attend each day that i absolutely do not desire? Have you every wondered why you were placed on this earth? and who you are? well I realized that the first thing I needed to find out is:
1. Who am I? and the next which is also important is
2. Why am I on this earth....
so that is now my quest 40+ years on

For years i thought i knew who I was, but i was only responding to who people wanted me to be and in the process acted out peoples' desires of who i should be. I ended up in a job(teaching) that was suggested to me by my family. I did it! had some great experiences but later ended up resenting and hating it!!! ( not the kids)...'IT' the job. why? I should have followed my heart about 5 years ago and left. but oh no the fear kicks in and I began to say:

' how am i going to get a job that pays as much as teaching?'
'it is safe and I will get my pension etc'
'the pay is good'
it'll get better'

How many times have you said these words whilst enduring each day. I ended up moving to the USA where i lived for 3 years and ended up teaching there. I loved living in America and my dream was to stay there (forever). I enjoyed a nice quality of life and a better standard of living. But i was still unsettled about teaching and knew it was time to leave the profession but I wouldn't. I could but i didn't, all because of fear......This blog will be continued. I am on a quest to find out WHO I AM AND WHY I AM ON THIS EARTH!!Why not do the same ( to be continued in part 2)